Don't Speak

Tales of the broken hearted.
1. Do what you want do do, don't prevent yourself of anything - alcohol, cigarettes, staying at home in bed, going out whenever you need, even alone. You have to get focused on you, cause that's what really matters at the moment - do what you want, think of the consequences later.
2. Fill the void. Talk to your ex if you feel like it's doing the job, but keep your distance - remember he needs time. Get wasted and fall asleep in the hall, it will uplift you momentarily. Eat. Make yourself do that.
3. Find out how to make the heart pound slower. It's still running like it's in a marathon, and I don't know yet how to ease it. But if you find something that eases it - go for it. You're grieving, it's OK.
4. Don't stop. Do whatever you need to keep your mind off the giant hole that's been ripped in your heart. Go to work, go to school, study, watch TV.
5. Don't listen to Glee. It will bring you to tears instantly. This is experience speaking.
6. Be with friends you can count on and with people who care for you and will always say what you need to hear at the moment.
7. Bathe. Good idea actually.
8. Remember you'll be able to love and you'll be loved again. If someone wants to be with himself, that's HIS problem, his loss.
9. Wait. Though that will be the hardest, that will be the best cure. Either you'll get back, or you'll find a closer and move on - it all takes time.
And damn it, that's just the hardest thing to ask of yourself - to wait. But things are moving, and you'll feel less hung up if you'll take action. If that action involves being friends with your ex - be careful and take it slow. But al least you'll be doing something...

And 10. Srop crying when you hear those lyrics. But that can wait for now, carry on...

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together
always.

I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend 
I can't believe 
This could be the end.

It looks as though you're letting go 
And if it's real, 
Well I don't want to know.


Don't speak 
I know just what you're saying 
So please stop explaining 
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts 
Don't speak 
I know what you're thinking 
I don't need your reasons 
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Goodbye

My heart has been ripped apart, my whole world had changed in a heartbeat. I never got to say goodbye, I didn't want to. When you said last night that you can't be with me, you have problems and you can't really let me in anymore, you're defense walls have gone too high - I felt like I was dying, my heart torn apart, like every good feeling is being taken away from me against my will. I didn't want to live without you. Now I must.

I tried to fight, I did everything I could, everything I couldn't, I humiliated myself, I begged, I prayed, I shouted, I got on my knees, I tries to use so much reason but it was too late - you gave up. You gave up, you left me speechless, I felt so helpless.

 

 

Is that what it feels like dying? Is this what it feels like when you're torn apart? Faith has been broken, both our tears were cried. How can you let go of the thing you loved the most? Of the love you felt for the first time that you deserved? How could you give up? I wanted to do that in the past, but I didn't. I knew that things would never be the same, and I didn't want to lose you. How can you tell me, while you're crying, that you love me and you never thought you'd love like that, that you were more happy with me than you've ever thought you'll be - and then leave me begging on my knees? Why did you give up?

 

 

 

I know it wasn't me, it was you. It was you all along. You were the weaker, you were so afraid to lose me and to hurt me - that you brought it on yourself. I plead you, my love - lets do some living after we'll die. When you're demons will be conquered, when you'll find a way to let me in and be there for you, when you'll understand that you're better with me, that you need me.

I'll wait for you, dear. Not forever, but for now. I don't want to lose you, you're my best friend. I miss your warmth, your touch, your smile, your tender kiss. I love you, and I always will. But I can't hurt myself like this. I can't force you to be with me if you're not ready. I'll pray to the gods constantly that someday, soon or not, you will. But for now, till you'll be ready for love again, I can't lose myself. I love you, but I'll go on with my life. I'm waiting, but I have to be happy, I need that. I just have to figure out once again - how.

 

 

 3 weeks ago, when you still believed we can make it, I wanted to show you how you made me smile.

But I have to figure out how to smile and feel again. I'm a good person, you said so yourself, I deserve to be happy. I just wish you were by my side...