To hear that you're sorry wasn't enough, to get all those flowers wasn't either. What convinced me that you're really willing to fight this time and you take responsibility was when I walked out, when I gave up and didn't wanna try to build our relationship again - and you came out after me. To the street. To convince me. It really showed me how much you love me and won't let me go like that.
Things haven't been easy when we got back, I was so hurt and didn't trust you at all. It wasn't like starting all over again, it was worse, the trust was at a much lower level. But slowly I started to gain confidence, bit by bit. You took responsibility for rebuilding the trust and I chose to trust you once and for all, and the past couple of weeks have been wonderful.
But I'm so scared sometimes... The fear creeps in at the most unexpected occasions... And I love you, and trust you like I've never believed I would with any man, like I didn't think I even can, but I'm so scared to be hurt again, I'm scared that I'll push you away from my life because of the memories of the time you said goodbye. I'm so scared, and I drown myself in TV shows, cooking, studying, working and anything I can think of. But I'm still scared. And I think that it's not because I don't trust you.. It's because I don't trust me enough.
Life is like that - you choose to trust and you hope that the other person won't let you down. There's no certainty there - we may not be together forever. And I know that. And looking at how much energy you put into our relationship in the past month really calms me down. I see a change in you, and it relaxes me. But from time to time - the fear of losing you creeps in. And though I'm much stronger today, it scares me still.
