L.O.V.E.

Have you seen "500 Days of Summer"? I watched it again a couple of days ago with two of my friends, and both of them concluded the movie as "well built and directed, but we didn't get the message". I've been thinking about it for the last few days and I think I've reached a conclusion than will keep both my friends unsatisfied - you choose what to take from this movie.
Like all great movies such as Requiem for a Dream, Donnie Darko & even Moulin Rouge that end with suffering, misery and death - one can choose what to take from them. Not like all those romantic comedies that pretend to know what life and love is about. We choose what to make of life, we choose what to learn from a movie, and we choose what is love an compassion for us. It doesn't have to be the Hollywood ditsy-careless-naive love. It can be dependant-harsh-hopeful-yet-realistic love. I need to believe in this kind of love in order to remain sane.

It's hard for me to love since everyone I've ever loved has let me down. I fall in love fast but with much too high expectations and that's why I'm let down so often. I believe in love with all my heart but in the wrong kind of love, the childish one, and that's why I keep hurting myself.
I once wrote a song once about my inability to hold on to what's healthy to me, and then, because I only blame myself, be consumed with this terrible and morbid feeling of emptiness. It was two years ago. Now I need to grow up and finally understand that I'm in charge of my life and I can choose a different kind of love to believe in: I choose to look at the bright side and not expect too much of myself and of others, to always believe in the good side of men, to know that there are obstacles, and realise that there may not be a happy ending, but one can only grow from rock-bottom, and although it's scary down there - the feeling of love is worth it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxW99gE_lRI

Although I'm not ashamed of her, I'm not that girl anymore.